We would all have to agree that committing ourselves to a relationship, and eventually to marriage or a common law relationship, is probably one of the biggest decisions we will make in our lifetime. We spend so much time dwelling on, “is this person right for me?” We ask acquaintances, friends, and family, second guessing our own feelings. When we spend so much time rationalizing whether or not we’re making the right decision, why is it that one out of two marriages ends in divorce?
Questions for discussion: Have you been directly affected by a divorce? Would you say that divorce is right or wrong based on the following:
Religion
Cultural views
Sexuality
Children
Financial issues
Abuse
Adultery/unfaithfulness
Natasha Bird’s response
Coming from divorced parents, I think divorce is not always wrong. People who are unhappy tend to make others around them unhappy too. I understand why religious people stay together, but I couldn’t stay married to someone I did not love. I think couples should work their problems out, and divorce should be a last resort.
Chris Koch’s response
This topic does not really affect me -- no one in my family has been through a divorce. However, I believe that when people enter marriage, they should know beforehand what the are really getting into. That is why you date, so when you do become married, you stay with that person even through your up’s and down’s; that’s marriage. As a Christian, I believe once you “tie the knot” only God has the power to break it. There are some circumstances, however, that really do call for a divorce, like abuse or adultery. I do believe, for the most part, that divorce is wrong. You just need to work through the tough times, and it will work out in the end.
Michelle King’s response
Unfortunately, I have had deal with my father going through two divorces. I know many people who have been through a divorce and/or separation from their spouse. To me, it's really a sad thing. I hate to see people in a relationship not get along. It's most definitely heart-breaking to go through it with your own parents.
Honestly, I do not think of divorce as right or wrong. Who’s to say if its right or wrong? Different religions and different types of people believe different things. I think that couples should always do their best to work things out. I honestly think the reason the divorce rate is so high in today’s society is because people really aren’t trying hard enough to work things out. I understand in some circumstances it cannot be worked out. I also think that society accepts divorce more now, than ever. It’s just become so common.
I really disagree with divorce. I think that couples should turn to working it out. Its really not that hard to communicate and figure out the problems. People just have too many excuses these days. It's pathetic! When it comes to Adultery, I think that things really are never the same after that. They may seem the same, but there’s always the memory of it stuck in the back of your head. Trust is lost, and its extremely hard to get that back.
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I'm inclined to believe that since Generation X's inception, we've become a culture of extremes...and rash decision-making. Divorce was the model for Gen Xers -- Baby Boomers just didn't stick with their parents' expectations and were quick to marry and divorce at will.
ReplyDeleteIn response to your question, yes, I have been directly affected by a divorce -- namely, my own (8 1/2 years ago). The marriage was rushed -- he and I had not given ourselves time to develop as a couple and learn of the other's foibles. We were married for 6 years. It ended appropriately and inevitably. I initiated the divorce, and I do not regret it whatsoever.
I do have an opinion on the topic of divorce. I've been directly exposed to divorce and It hasn't really affected me as much as others would think. My father lives in NJ and my mother, along with my stepfather, and I live here in FL. I don't have the strong father and son bond with my biological father but I created one with my stepfather... If divorce wasn't possible then my mother would be in misery along with my brothers and sisters.
ReplyDeleteSo in my opinion divorce is not wrong and may be necessary for the future pursuit of other's happiness. Dosen't mean I'd advise marrying twenty people and divorcing them the next day for the "common good of your children".
-Matt Bailo
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI do think that before you get married you should both be 100% commented to making it work. If you find yourself in the position where you are not able to then if and only if you are sure then you should get a divorce.
ReplyDeleteCastor B.
I have come from a divorced family, but it hasn't really bothered me too much. Personally, I am married and me and my husband made the commitment to each other to stay together "till death do us part...". It is the best promise I have ever made and I know that it will be best for our daughter too. Although there is nothing wrong with people getting divorced, I choose not to. But for some people, thats just the way things happen and in some cases, it is best for them.
ReplyDelete-Allison Kahler
This blog thusfar is proof of the divorce rate, 5 our of seven bloggers have been affected by divorce. My parents divorced when I was 2 (thank God!), and they were married because it was convienent and my mother was trying to escape a hellish family life. However my immediate family has been extremely successful, my mother ended up re-marrying her first husband (hahaha), and they've been disgustingly happy ever since. I can only recollect maybe one fight, they still are extremely loving and considerate of each other.
ReplyDeleteMy biological father however has been married and divorced 5 times. Thank God I have at least one good example to follow.
I can understand divorces that happen for ligitimate founded reasons, but those couples who do not attempt every means possible to address and correct the difficulties/problems they are encountering, are just irresponsible.
Ashley Surrency
I have not been directly affected by divorce and am very blessed to have married parents and a stable family.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I hope that our generation does not divocre heavily. Unlike our grandmothers women
are notrequired to get married and have children. Nobody is going to criticize women today for taking time in finding the right person to marry. Becuase I do beleive that the preassure is off (to a degree) to get married, I hope that we see a decrease in divorce rates.
I don't think that divoce is "bad" or "wrong," just unnesesary and unfortunate. It effects every family and every child differently, we can't just put a generic lable on how divorce effects everybody who goes through it.
I do not approve of divorce unless it is a dire circumstance like abuse or infidelity. I believe that marriage is something that you go into fully. When you marry someone, you have to know what you are getting yourself into. When you run into rough patches in your marriage, you should do everything in your power to work things out, divorce should be should be used as the resort.
ReplyDelete-Danielle Lee
Danielle, do you believe people are rushing into marriage these days -- in comparison to the days of our "elders"?
ReplyDeleteI believe that older generations were use to working harder for happiness, whether it was making a living through manual labor or having a happy marriage. I’ve noticed that a large portion of the people who have divorces are usually just not trying hard enough to fix their marriage and sometimes ignore the problems until it is either too late or just easier to get a divorce. I disagree with those kinds of reason but I also realize that in some cases, like abuse, divorce is needed.
ReplyDelete-Lisa Langanke
I don't believe in divorce. That is just how I have been raised and my parents have always stayed together. Now, some people find that divorce is the only way to do it and maybe that is the best option for them, but I married my wife and Im going to stick to it.
ReplyDelete-Michael Kahler
I believe that divorce is wrong, with the exceptions of abuse, or adultery. Marrige is a promise made before God, and is one of the most serious vows a person can make. the people who get married should take some extra time to get to know each other before they get married... it is a descision that will affect the rest of their lives.
ReplyDeleteI have never been in the middle of a divorce, but being raised religiously (Roman Catholic) I believe that once a couple gets married they can never divorce, but divorce being so common nowadays I think that our society has started a bandwagon effect, and now every time a couple start going through tough times they just jump on the wagon on the road to divorce.
ReplyDeleteI think marriage is unneccesary in the first place. Most of the marriages in my family have failed and were doomed from the start. My parents got divorced and it didn't really bother me. It was better than them not getting along or fighting.
ReplyDeletepeople obsess over the factors about their significant other that will not make the relationship work and they don't trust one another.... so ultimately the relationship ends in a divorce.
ReplyDeleteOne out two marriages end in devorce because couples doesnt spend enough time trying to figure each other out.Instead they rush into getting marriad without knowing if the person is right for them.
ReplyDeleteI feel that people think too much on these subjects of love. Its really only an emotion. People spend their entire life waiting for that one "right" person. They need to realize that sooner or later, all the looking will pay off. I feel that people are afraid of being in love and afraid of loving people not related to them. They are afraid of the pain and sorrow that comes after they realize that it just is not ment to be. Personally, I think people need to relax about their feelings, and understand that life is about choices and second chances. Making a bad decision is a part of life, whether it be in a relationship or anything else. A divorce is just one more way to learn from life.
ReplyDeleteI have a strong dislike towards divorce. My whole life i have been raised in a baptist church and have been taught that marriage is a one time commitment. Divorce is not suppose to even be thought of once you get married. Unless someone is getting like extremely abused, physically or verbally, a couple that is married should not get divorced.
ReplyDeleteBesides me, anyone else here think that celebrities ought to forgo the marriage thing altogether unless they are absolutely, verifably willing to make the commitment?
ReplyDeleteI, for one, am quite sick of hearing about the latest celebrity split and custody battles.
Talk about lousy role models. I blame Liz Taylor.
Today, the rate of divorce in many relationships has risen and is considered as an easy escape for many people who are in a bad relationship. However, they do not know its consequences. There are several opportunities that a divorced person can enjoy in his or her new life. I believe it is wonderful for everyone who suffers in a bad marriage to live as a single, especially if the partner is abusive. But, the effects of divorce in children life are significant. Of course, some people experience positive outcomes at this point, but, we should understand some negative consequences a divorced person may suffer years after years before she or he is back to normal.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been affected by divorce personally but I feel that divorce is wrong. My religion is against divorce. Divorce also affects the children and how they grow up and more. A family divided can cause harm to all of the member of the family
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I've seen marriages that have ended in divorce and witnessed the effect that it had on the kids. However, the outcome is not always the same. The kids could either turn bad or become "exemplary citizens," I think it all depends on how they are raised after the divorce. I personally do not condone of it but realize that it is a part of many people's realities and therefore, I have no control over.
ReplyDelete-Pablo